


Do You Remember

by YourAnxiousNerd



Series: If All is Grace [2]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Captain Hook | Killian Jones/Emma Swan Fluff, Characters Mentioned, Dreams and Nightmares, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Mistakes, Nightmares, Nighttime, One-Shot, Regret, True Love, Visions in dreams, everyone hates emma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-20
Updated: 2020-09-20
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:21:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26569462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YourAnxiousNerd/pseuds/YourAnxiousNerd
Summary: Emma is plagued by her regretsA one-shot set after 6x06 and before 6x10
Relationships: Captain Hook | Killian Jones/Emma Swan
Series: If All is Grace [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1913137
Comments: 5
Kudos: 30





	Do You Remember

_Emma’s smile seemed to have come from the sun itself. She smiled and laughed as she strolled down main street, boyfriend and son in hand. The clouds rippled like ocean waves while the sun seeped through. The streets of Storybrooke were as lively as ever. Ever shop, including the Pawnshop’s doors were propped open to help the flow of customers. Granny’s was so crowded, a section of the street had been blocked off the house tables._

_Killian led Emma and Henry into an overcrowding Granny’s. Ruby offered them menus the moment they sat down. Killian, ever the gentlemen, ordered the three of them their usuals. Ruby smiled as she leaves the table. Henry pulled out the storybook and began eagerly flipping through it’s paged. He settled on her parent's story and began reading._

_Killian swung his arm around Emma and grinned, “Since it looks like Henry is doing some reflecting, I thought we would too.”_

_Emma smiled, “Okay...Do you want to start?”_

_He nods, “Aye, let me think…” Killian tilted his head up, “How about the time Gold took my heart and it took you weeks to figure out?”_

_Emma choked on her hot cocoa, resisting the urge to spit it out. She turned toward him, scanning him for his sudden temper. The calmness he had earlier that day disappeared as if it never existed. His ocean blue eyes looked like the raging sea._

_Killian stood up and tossed the chair half-way across the room. It broke the window with a large cracking sound. No one lifted their heads or even flinched at the sudden violence. Emma was seconds from asking him what’s happening when he cut her off._

_“Or how about that time you turned me into the bloody dark one because you were afraid.” he snarled._

_“Killian-” Emma started._

_“Save it, princess,” Killian silenced her with a wave of his hook, “You’re the bloody savior and not once have you offered to bring back my hand. No matter what you try to convince yourself, you’re just a selfish orphan who is trying to win everyone over with your flashy hands and sparkly title.”_

_Emma stood up, her hands shaking. Her magic boiled beneath her skin and it took everything to keep it at bay. She felt like running out the door and never looking back. But she didn't. Not when her true love was standing in front of her with only darkness in his eyes._

_“Hey mom, remember how you didn’t believe in magic so I got put under a sleeping curse?” Emma turned toward Henry, now on his feet. His eyes were cold and his hands were in fists, “Remember how-”_

_“STOP!” she shouted, flinging her arms out. Her entire body shook. Tears rolled down her face. The diner continued with there business as if the savior wasn’t having a blow-out with her son and lover. Emma didn't know whether to be mad or terrified._

_“E_ m _m_ a _, w_ h _at_ ’ _s w_ r _ong_ ? _” his tone changed in-between words as if battling for control. It made Emma want to rip her hair out._

_“Hey, Emma.” Emma’s head snapped up the moment she heard her voice. Cleo sat on top of the bar, arms crossed and legs dangling._

_“Cleo-” Emma’s face fell in relief. She would stop this madness, she knew it._

_But wait-_

_She was dead._

_“Ah, so you do remember me,” Cleo snarled as if she was able to read her mind, “You believe yourself to be a hero. But heroes don't kill innocents. I was innocent. Do you remember who killed me?”_

_“_ Swan. Swan, come back to me. _” she turned around at the sound of Killian’s voice. Her sweet, considerate Killian. But all he did was glare at her harshly._

 _“Do you remember how you took my son from me?”_

_“Do you remember being so cold and toward us?”_

_“Do you remember snatching me from my newborn?”_

_“Do you remember how you blamed me for every single bad thing in your life when it was your fault?”_

_“Do you remember blaming me for your issues even when you chose to have them?”_

_“Do you remember killing my son?”_

_“Do you remember that everyone's happiness rests on your shoulders?”_

_“Do you remember watching me die?”_

_“Do you remember pushing me off a cliff?”_

_“Do you remember leaving me to be killed?”_

_“Do you remember abandoning me?”_

_Emma collapsed to the floor and began to sob. She began nodding furiously, screaming yes. She remembered everything, every cold-shoulder, every death, every mistake, everything._

_She felt someone lean over her. Emma sucked in his salty smell as he ran his cold fingers through her hair. It soothed her instantly._

_“Good. I’m glad-_ Emma- _you,_ Please, wake- _do_ -up.” _Killian whispered in her ear harshly. She could have sworn she heard him begging, but her guilt clouds her judgment._

 _“Now, come with me-_ Swan! _” Her eyes widened at his sudden desperation. What he was desperate for, Emma had no idea. Killian outstretched his ring filled hand. Not noticing how all of Granny’s is looking at her, she took it cautiously. Killian smiled when their hands connect, intertwining their fingers. Emma’s tears disappeared in an instant. He led her through the maze of people at Granny’s. He guided her to the center of main street. The sun has begun to set over Storybrooke harbor._

 _“Tell me what you see, l_ o _v_ e?” _Killian gestured to the street._

_“A gorgeous sunset.” Emma smiled brightly, turning to him. She silently hoped he will take her to the Jolly Roger where they can watch it set over the calm ocean._

_“Do you want to know what I see?”_

_Emma nodded. Killian let go of her hand. His mouth hovered inches from her ear. His icy breath sent shivers down her spine._

_“You’re grave.”_

_Dread filled Emma’s stomach as day shifted to night. She turned toward Killian to find him no longer there, but several feet away. He’s running to her, her parents and Henry in tow._

_A sword was in her hand as she fended off a cloaked man. Emma swung it over his head but he ducked, narrowly missing her blade. His sword connected with hers as he disarmed her, the sword flying feet behind her. Emma’s jaw dropped as it disappeared in red smoke._

_“I’m not going to let you hurt anyone,” Emma panted. She lifted her hand, ready to fire her light magic at him, but it didn't come. She squeezed her muscles, picturing a white ball of light in her palm. It never came. She felt her magic humming under her skin, it should be working._

_Why isn’t it working?_

_Her right hand began to shake violently. Emma stared at her dysfunctional hand, willing her magic to work when a sharp, cold pain entered her stomach. Emma grasped the nearest solid object so she could steady herself. Her grip tightened as she looked down at her blood-stained tank-top._

_The sword had gone right through her._

_The man leaned so close, Emma could feel the coldness of his breath._

_“Do you remember when I killed you?_ ”

-/-

Emma awoke with her heart beating frantically in her chest. Her whole body was shaking. Emma's eyes widened as she placed her trembling right hand on the center of her stomach, expecting the feeling of warm, oozing blood. But there was none. Just the soft fabric of her tank top. 

_It was just a dream, idiot._

The thought sliced through her. All the pain she went through was a _dream?_

“But...how-” she flinched when something curled around her shoulders. The hand attempted to pull her close, but Emma flung herself forward. She can’t go back there, she won’t go back there. Emma snapped her head around, looking like a frantic animal. 

Instead of a demon creature attempting to lure her into her dreams, she was met with soft, sympathetic eyes. She knew those eyes. Those blue, ocean eyes that make her stomach do a 360 more times than she could count. She trusted those eyes. She trusted _him._

The Killian in her dream, that wasn’t him. Her Killian would never look at her with such hate and anger. The Killian propped up on the headboard was her’s, she decided. He took her tense, trembling hand and rubbed circles on her palm.

“Shhh, shhh, it’s was just a dream, Swan. It’s only us.” Killian whispered in a soothing tone. 

Emma collapsed beside him. Killian let her hand fall to her stomach and pulled her close, wrapping his arm tightly around her shoulders. Emma laid her head on his chest, letting his beating heart soothe her.

Killian began to sing a sea shanty, something he always does when she’s distressed. Emma can’t help but smile as he hit notes flawlessly even when he’s singing at a whisper. She didn’t recognize the song but is sure she’ll be humming it in a couple of weeks. 

When he finished his song, he kissed the crown of her hair, “Are you okay?”

“When did you wake up?”

His body tensed but quickly relaxed. His breath hitched, then he exhaled. Faster than a second. But Emma caught it. She always caught it when it came to him. She could tell whatever happened before she woke up shook him to his core.

“You were tossing and turning. You couldn’t stop bloody shaking. You started whispering ‘I remember, I remember’ over and over again. Then you-you gasped.” Killian’s voice was rich with sadness. She felt his fear, could practically breathe it. Emma pulled his arm so his hand now rested on hers. She lifted her head off his chest and placed it in the crook of his neck. He relaxed slightly, but his body was still tense.

Emma sighed. She knew what would put him at ease. While she was physically intact, Emma knew he wanted to make sure she was mentally all right. Killian wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep until he knew if every part of her was okay. That was one of the reasons she loved Killian. She sighed again, hoping that he wouldn't react the way she thought he would.

“You, Henry, and I were walking down main street. We went into Granny’s. Henry pulled out the storybook and began reading my parent's story. You told me we should reflect on the past like Henry was. Then-” Emma inhaled sharply, “Then you told me of all the horrible things I’ve done to you, done to everyone. Henry said something-then the reminders stopped. You took me outside and asked me what I saw. Then you told me what you saw.”

“And what did I see?” 

_Damn it!_ She cursed. Emma had been hoping to avoid this part of the nightmare. She knew this part was going to stab Killian in the chest. She wanted to lie to him, skip ahead. But those days were she kept everything to herself were over. Emma made a promise of no more secrets and she sure as hell was going to keep it. They’ve been to hell and back (literally), the least she could do was be honest with him.

Emma let out a breath she had no idea she was holding, “You told me you saw my grave.”

Killian’s breathe hitched. His hand stopped drawing circles on her palm. She felt him go tense as if he had turned to stone. Emma knew this was going to happen. She knew he was probably cursing himself for this. 

“Then my vision played out,” she added quickly. Emma didn’t know what to do next. Should she comfort Killian and tell him it wasn’t his fault? Or should she wait for him to speak, let him sort his thoughts out? Sighing, she sat up so she could see his face. _God, his face._ Killian’s brows were pressed in worry. He was biting his lower lip. Guilt filled his eyes, something that made her heartbreak. Emma tenderly placed a hand on his cheek. He instantly leaned into her touch. He cast his eyes downward.

“Hey, don’t beat yourself up. You-the Killian in my dream isn’t you. I know you would never say those things.” he opened his mouth to speak but she held her hand up, “The darkness said those things _through_ you. Killian, my Killian, would never say those things. Has never said those things. This isn’t your fault. This isn't any body's fault."

Killian still didn’t seem convinced. He didn't look at her. He’s so stubborn, like herself. Emma does the only thing she can think of to get him to stop thinking. She shoved his lips against his. It was meant to be a soft kiss of encouragement, but it quickly turned fierce. Emma wrapped her hands around his neck, running her fingers through his hair. Killian’s stump went around her waist, his fingers in her hair.

They kissed with such passion, it could destroy worlds.

Emma pulled away and smirked, “Feel better?”

“Much. Yourself?” His eyes poured into her's with no fear in his eyes.

Emma smiled, nodding her head.

“Good. Now, do you care to continue?” Killian smirked and lifted a brow.

“Can you 'continue' tomorrow when I’m 4 miles away?”

Emma and Killian’s heads shot toward the door. A shocked and annoyed Henry stood in the doorway. His hands were crossed in front of him like a disapproving parent.

“Kid, what are you doing up?” Emma inquired, desperately trying to stifle her laughter. She was just caught making out with her boyfriend by her teenage son. Emma thought she should be embarrassed, but she was probably so exhausted she thought it was hilarious. 

“I was going to get some water.” 

“Well, you bets get to that, lad. Your mother and I have some _business_ to attend to.”

Emma slapped the pirate in the stomach. Her laughter rang throughout the house, “not in front of Henry!”

“Oh.” Killian mocked surprise, “Did I say that out loud?”

 _God, he's so full of it_ Emma thought while she rolled her eyes. Henry mumbled something incoherent then closed the door, wishing them good night.

Once Emma could hear her son make his way down the stairs, she placed her head in the crook of his neck. Killian wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled the covers over them. He kissed the crown of her hair, “We're not done, love."

Emma rolled her eyes, "I don't need Regina yelling at me because we attended business while Henry was here."

"That makes two of us."

Emma giggled and closed her eyes. She let Killian's breathing lull her into a dreamless sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> This certainly took much longer than I expected. I would work on this for an hour then stop for a week. Thanks for reading!


End file.
